WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF THINKBOT
25th January 2120
The VP was dumbfounded "You don't have a smartphone, and yet have succeeded in running DIRT! Can you imagine what you could be doing if you had a smartphone?," he exclaimed.
GAT thought for a few seconds, then replied, "Dealing with trivial email 24/7, 365 days a year"
[DIRT = Domestic & Industrial Robot Technology]
21st January 2120
Customers who mistakenly purchased '203-3045309A Machined block with tapped holes' were also confused by
'203-3044678V Machined block (tapped holes)'
'203-3043367H Machined block with holes (Tapped)'
'203-3044560D Block (Machined) with tapped holes'
18th January 2120
Strange maps of the World # 679 - Globalbot Sales Regions
Northern Europe: UK, Iceland, Turkey, Morocco, Africa, Tne Moon
15th January 2120
To: All Globalbot
Subject: Rant Room Facility
Please be aware, for your improved health and safety, that Globalbot has invested in a dedicated Rant Room Facility. This is bookable via the pyschosoft outrage calendar. Please refrain from ranting in meeting rooms, the corridor, canteen, reception, board room and toilet cubicles.
Questions arose immediatley:
Will there be a training course?
Will rants be recorded/ videoed/ relayed to a HR listener/GCHQ, customer/supplier contacts, etc., etc.?
Can we rant in company time?
'I think I'll have a go,' GAT announced later that day, 'Bl&*dY H%ll! it's already booked for the next six months!'
'Ooh! I don't like the look of the guy on the right.'
11th January 2120
Globalbot Discloses IP for Time-Travelling IronBot
Robo-Reuters: Thursday11th January 2120
Filton, Europa -- (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Globalbot. Corp. (LASHDAQ-100), a supplier of advanced robotic equipment and related automated technologies for the global robotics industry, today announced that it has been issued a global patent for a 'time-travelling IronBot'. 'This is a big step forward for the laundry sector and hard-pressed professionals forced to pull crumpled shirts from the ironing basket so as to attend there place of work!' enthused Fut U.R. Ologyst, VP of Globalbot Future Products. Industry pundits speculated that after removing a shirt at bedtime, owners of such a robot would find the same shirt ironed and waiting in the airing cupboard. Clothing firms were alarmed that 'employees would be able to wear the same clothes every day.'
Safe Harbor Statement: Shirts ironed in the future and transported back to the present may bear confusing logos.
'How would know?' mused GAT, 'Globalbot engineers wear the same clothes every day already.'
8th January 2120
Someone gave GAT a robot bug for Xmas. After watching it for a while, GAT came to the conclusion:
'It's spooky - it's controlled by the Globalbot corporate algorithm*. It just walks until it hits a solid object, turns ninety degrees and walks into another solid object. It just carries on until it falls off the desk, or trips over a wire or gets its feet stuck in the keyboard.'
I watched the thing struggle for a couple of minutes, 'Hmm, perhaps it would benefit from Sales Training?'
4th January 2120
And now, 3 days late, my new Year Resolutions
I suspect something themed on modesty might be in order . . .
Along with thankfulness to the Great Anorak in the Sky which can supply second-hand comic material of mind-boggling quality.
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