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THINKBLOG

 

25th January 2120

 

The VP was dumbfounded "You don't have a smartphone, and yet have succeeded in running DIRT! Can you imagine what you could be doing if you had a smartphone?," he exclaimed. 

GAT thought for a few seconds, then replied, "Dealing with trivial email 24/7, 365 days a year"

[DIRT = Domestic & Industrial Robot Technology]

 

21st January 2120

Customers who mistakenly purchased '203-3045309A Machined block with tapped holes' were also confused by

 '203-3044678V Machined block (tapped holes)'

'203-3043367H Machined block with holes (Tapped)'

'203-3044560D Block (Machined) with tapped holes'

 

 

18th January 2120

  

 

Strange maps of the World # 679 - Globalbot Sales Regions

For example:

Northern Europe: UK, Iceland, Turkey, Morocco, Africa, Tne Moon

 

15th January 2120

 

To: All Globalbot

From: Adminbot

Subject: Rant Room Facility

 

Dear All,

Please be aware, for your improved health and safety, that Globalbot has invested in a dedicated Rant Room Facility. This is bookable via the pyschosoft outrage calendar. Please refrain from ranting in meeting rooms, the corridor, canteen, reception, board room and toilet cubicles.

 

Questions arose immediatley:

Will there be a training course?

Will rants be recorded/ videoed/ relayed to a HR listener/GCHQ, customer/supplier contacts, etc., etc.?

Can we rant in company time?

 

'I think I'll have a go,' GAT announced later that day, 'Bl&*dY H%ll! it's already booked for the next six months!'

 

 

'Ooh! I don't like the look of the guy on the right.'

 

11th January 2120

 

Globalbot Discloses IP for Time-Travelling IronBot

Robo-Reuters: Thursday11th January 2120

Filton, Europa -- (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Globalbot. Corp. (LASHDAQ-100), a supplier of advanced robotic equipment and related automated technologies for the global robotics industry, today announced that it has been issued a global patent for a 'time-travelling IronBot'. 'This is a big step forward for the laundry sector and hard-pressed professionals forced to pull crumpled shirts from the ironing basket so as to attend there place of work!' enthused Fut U.R. Ologyst, VP of Globalbot Future Products.  Industry pundits speculated that after removing a shirt at bedtime, owners of such a robot would find the same shirt ironed and waiting in the airing cupboard. Clothing firms were alarmed that 'employees would be able to wear the same clothes every day.'

Safe Harbor Statement: Shirts ironed in the future and transported back to the present may bear confusing logos.

 

'How would know?' mused GAT, 'Globalbot engineers wear the same clothes every day already.'

 

8th January 2120

 

Someone gave GAT a robot bug for Xmas. After watching it for a while, GAT came to the conclusion:

'It's spooky - it's controlled by the Globalbot corporate algorithm*. It just walks until it hits a solid object, turns ninety degrees and walks into another solid object. It just carries on until it falls off the desk, or trips over a wire or gets its feet stuck in the keyboard.'

I watched the thing struggle for a couple of minutes, 'Hmm, perhaps it would benefit from Sales Training?'

* FUTILITYTM

 

4th January 2120

And now, 3 days late, my new Year Resolutions

I suspect something themed on modesty might be in order . . .

Along with thankfulness to the Great Anorak in the Sky which can supply second-hand comic material of mind-boggling quality.

 

 

THINKBLOG VAULTS

 

THINKBLOG  - April to December 2119

 

THINKBLOG  - July 2118 - March 2119

THINKBLOG  - Jan - Jun 2118

THINKBLOG  - Jul - Dec 2117

THINKBLOG  - Jan - Jun 2117

THINKBLOG  - Jul - Dec 2116

THINKBLOG  - Jan - Jun 2116

THINKBLOG  - Oct - Dec 2115

THINKBLOG  - Jul - Sept 2115

THINKBLOG  - Apr - Jun 2115

 

THINKBLOG  - Jan - March 2115

 

THINKBLOG  - Oct - Dec 2114

 

THINKBLOG  - Jul - Sept 2114

 

THINKBLOG  - Apr - Jun 2114

 

THINKBLOG  - Jan - March 2114

 

THINKBLOG  - Oct - Dec 2113

 

THINKBLOG  - Jul - Sept 2113

 

THINKBLOG  - Apr - Jun 2113

 

THINKBLOG  - Jan - Mar 2113

 

THINKBLOG  - Oct - Dec 2112

 

THINKBLOG  - July - Sept 2112

 

THINKBLOG  - Apr - June 2112

 

THINKBLOG  - Jan - March 2112

 

THINKBLOG  - Oct - Dec 2111

 

THINKBLOG  - July - Sept 2111

 

THINKBLOG  - March - June 2111

 

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